


Let Me See?

by boomsticking



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Pillow Talk, Post-Canon, Romance, Sappy, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, potentially underaged partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 06:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15504642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomsticking/pseuds/boomsticking
Summary: Siddiq wishes Carl could trust him with absolutely everything about himself, but if he can't do that yet, at least he can be content with knowing he makes him happy.





	Let Me See?

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick thing I typed up. I haven't written fanfic in years and it probably shows a lot.

It's been months since the war ended and only a few weeks since Carl became an almost permanent presence in his bed. Tonight isn't any different either. Who even knows how late it is, how much they've kept each other up… Probably longer than they should have, but it's hard to regret stealing a few moments to themselves. Who knows how many more they have? Even if things feel like maybe they're getting better.

Siddiq's eyes trace the silhouette of Carl's slighter form next to him and it's so hard to resist wanting to reach out and touch. He does for the moment, watching Carl carefully. He's turned on his side, facing away from him, but just the way his shoulders rise and fall with every breath that's not quite slow enough or even enough lets Siddiq know he's far from sleeping.

Shifting closer until he's pressed against him, fitting more perfectly than either of them would have ever assumed that first meeting, Siddiq lets out a pleased sigh. Bare skin brushes bare skin as he slides an arm around Carl's waist, only to have the younger man press back against him with a drowsy murmur.  

"Hey…" Carl's voice sounds heavy, more on the verge of sleep than he assumed, but Siddiq presses a smile against his shoulder fondly.

"You're already giving out on me?"

"Oh, you wish."

That earns a soft, warm laugh. Count on Carl to rise up to any hint of a challenge. It's part of the man he's become and part teenage rebellion, he thinks. Siddiq doesn't mind though. He presses a kiss to Carl's bared shoulder, trails them up to his neck slowly.

Even with the earlier challenge, Carl relaxes so easily, presses into the affection like he all but craves it, and maybe he does. Maybe they both do. The only hint of tension comes when his lips trail from the line Carl's jaw, over the stubble of his cheek until they land beneath the bandage still wrapped tight over his face.

"It's okay," Siddiq murmurs softly, as soothing as he can possibly make his voice, but that doesn't really lessen Carl's tension much at all. He squirms within the confines of his arms, seemingly debating slipping away or maybe backing down from his earlier insistence that he's not tired at all.

Siddiq is gentle when he reaches out, fingertips coming up to trace carefully over the side of his face, soothing a little more He knows whatever underneath has to be healed, but he can feel Carl cringe away when his fingers get too close to bandages. He tries not to take it personally. He tries to tell himself it doesn't matter, or that he shouldn't expect so much when he's barely known the younger man for anytime at all.

It's just hard to keep that in mind always. It may have been months, but it still feels like years after the war they were caught up in.

And now things are so… normal now, by comparison. Or maybe not normal, but better than they have been since the walkers took over. Things have actually been peaceful at times, people have actually found happiness.

Siddiq is certainly among them, even if it's not in the most conventional means. And if it's Carl who's brought him happiness, who can blame him? Carl saved him, stayed at his side. Carl has insisted on helping Siddiq honor his mother time and again despite never having even met her. More than that, a smile from Carl has his stomach flip flopping in the best of ways when he can convince one to his face. They're rare. Rarer than he'd like if he's being at all honest.

But even with all of that, he can't say it doesn't sting that Carl doesn't seem to trust him with this too. He'll trust him to have his back against the dead ones, but not to be turned away by an old scar?

"Will you let me see?"

He lets his fingers trail from the bandages down Carl's cheek, along the line of his jaw where he can feel warm skin. He can feel the muscle twitch as Carl swallows.

"I don't really feel like it right now."

A wry smile twists Siddiq's lips at the response he's in no way surprised to hear, even if it isn't what he'd hoped for this time. "I was a doctor, you know. I've seen worse."

Carl's mouth twists at that and it isn't dark enough in his room that he'd the eye roll he gets when the younger man turns to face him a bit more properly. "Okay, but you were a resident."

Siddiq's smile only lengthens, more genuine amusement seeping in than he'd felt earlier. At least Carl isn't withdrawing that much from him. "I performed three surgeries, you know. And they went wonderfully."

He shifts forward, Carl moving with him until Siddiq settles on top of him. "And you've let me see the rest of you… multiple times, in fact. Countless times even."

And there it is. A genuine smile that cracks Carl's face, followed by a low chuckle. It's an even rarer response from Carl… tonight has to be his lucky night. "You never complain… like ever. You're an eager participant."

That smile fades though, as Carl's head tips back and his good eye rolls up towards the ceiling. "Which might change, if I took this off. It's not a pretty scar. It's not something you want staring you in the face… especially during that. I don't even want to look at it."

Siddiq almost feels… sad. Angry, maybe. Carl, for all his rough edges growing up in this sort of world, is a remarkable man. He's done so much, been through so much—hearing him talk like that, so certain that Siddiq would care about a scar, that it would change anything about what he feels or kill his desire to continue… well, it's something he wishes he could fix, but there isn't.

He gives a helpless sigh as he leans forward for a softer kiss, letting it linger. Even the way their lips meet and move feels perfect, if he's being honest.

"I wouldn't ever change my mind about you, no matter what. I don't care about a scar." Another kiss before he relents, gives an accepting look.

"You don't have to show it tonight, but—maybe we can work up to it?"

Carl seems to consider that, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. It takes a moment, but the younger man nods. "We can work up to it… just not tonight. How patient can you be, Siddiq?"

Siddiq leans down, pressing his forehead to Carl's carefully, meeting his eye. "I think for you, I can wait as long as you need. As long as you keep coming to visit me, I mean… Preferably in bed."

And a miracle happens. Carl laughs, low and amused and _happy_ , and Siddiq's heart warms even more at the sound. Three times. Three times he's seen Carl smile or sound genuinely happy. Even if he can't trust him with a scar yet, Siddiq feels like tonight's a win.

**End**


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